I posted these on my twitter page a while ago and someone asked me to post them again so here you go…enjoy!!!

I hadn’t thought about Mystikal in a very long time until I ran across this picture the other day.  We were on the set of  the “Move” with Ludacris music video and I can recall being captivated by his presence.  Here was a man who smoked more “weed” than any rapper I had ever seen and chased it with Hennessy, sipping the liquor as if it was gatorade.  And yet when you would go get him for his scene, he would be remarkably alert, taking direction well and staying focused on the task at hand.  He was quite a paradox!  I remember one instance I came to get him for a shot and walked onto his tour bus and saw a young lady giving him comfort and joy on her knees before him.  I was stunned, to say the least, but he simply said to me “Here I come”.  The irony tickles me to this day.

The next time I would work with him was on the set of Lil Jon’s video “I Don’t Give a F@#K”.  He was consistant with his disposition and as usual great to work with, but you could always see the angel and the devil at work within this talented man.  I have seen the same saga play out so many times within my industry and quite frankly even within myself.  I remember living my own life as if I had no consequences, justifying my actions, surrounded by people who were ticking timebombs and not knowing the SECRET at all. When I heard of Mystical going to jail for a sex crime that was committed on tape,  I was horrified!  I was more upset when I read the blogs with comments from indivduals who focused on the “hairstylist who was a thief” as justification for his actions.  It is not what the hairstylist did to him that is the SECRET to this entry but yet how he came to serve a 6 year jail sentence. 

My mother always said  to me growing up “TELL ME WHO YOUR FIRENDS ARE…AND I WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.”  Mystikal performed these acts of abuse with his “homeboys”.  It was a COLLECTIVE effort. We must all examine our relationships around us. A person should chooses their friends, lovers, and associates consciously. We should actively seek out the company of people who inspire and challenge, and willingly shed those who hold us back.  Check out the formula I learned in the video clip below.  IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!  Perhaps if Mystikal had known these PRINCIPLES OF THE SECRET, he might have made different choices.  I am praying that when he is released he will have grown to be a a better man who will fulfill a greater destiny than a great rapper I simply forgot about.

The truth will set you free!  It was shortly after I took this picture with Jim Jones late 2006 on the set of his “Ballin Remix” in Atlanta, that my life finally began to start having some real meaning.  It was my first BET Access Granted appearance since losing soooo much weight and I was flyin high…no lie… with a new hair cut, custom gear and more swag than Jim, Diddy, Tip and Baby put together.  Ohh my stories were endless and the youtube and myspace Access Granted montage of me in all my glory was posted for everyone to see.  WHAT A FOOL I WAS!

I was caught in the matrix, you see, of a world I love but now relate to a bit differently.  I wasn’t really “Ballin” however, Jim was, and Diddy and Baby and so on and so on.  But here is THE FIRST PART OF THE SECRET: DON’T LET THE HYPE OF OTHERS FOOL YOU INTO LYING TO YOURSELF.  What happened to me that day is; for some unknown reason I began to think I was ballin out of control too, I was no better than the hype man at a rap show.  My bank account was not truly BALLIN, and what did BALLIN really mean to me anyway!  Jim said it best that day “if you are still living in the projects but you’re driving a fly whip, you’re not ballin!”  I made $1500 for that days work as assistant director.  However, the Director, Rage (a guy I really do like) came in from New York and directed a video that any capable Director out of Atlanta could have directed with his or her eyes closed with a hangover, as we all had that day after the BET Hip Hop Awards (including Rage).  That was the beginning of Rage coming to Atlanta and scooping up alot of the hot videos because he had put in years of work, found a way to take things to the next level and was now executing his plan so that he too would be…that’s right…BALLIN!  So, ladies and gents the 2ND PART OF THE SECRET is crucial on this one.  See the average Black Joe or Jane is somewhere mad about the above fact when really the key is to just find a way to execute your OWN DAMN PLAN (sorry for the curse word).  Later, I will talk about how I did just that!!!!BALLIN

I will never forget the feeling I had on a conference call one day in 2000 when I worked for Tommy Boy Records and my boss the Sr. Vice President of Promotions said that we were changing our focus.  He said that the group known as the Crooked Lettaz were no longer a PRIORITY for us.  I was in shock!  Never being afraid to rock the boat, I did the unthinkable and objected to my bosses new order.  I told him we should give the group more time…I told him how amazing the lead guy was.  His name was David Banner.  This guy would get on stage and during the course of one of their songs called Firewater, he would actually blow real FIRE as if he was performing in a circus!  It was a sight to see!  My boss silenced me almost as soon as I had begun and ended the phone call with an even more heated tone!  THE CROOKED LETTAZ…ARE NO LONGER A PRIORITY FOR US!

I’m not sure how David Banner got the news delivered to him or maybe he just simply saw the signs.  He  called me repeatedly on my cell; I would not answer.  He caught me one day on my home office line and addressed me sounding as desperate as John Q, saying “You are taking food away from my families mouths!” I was silent, I could say nothing and he hung up that day not knowing that I was not the reason.

The label and it’s hope for the future left with acts like David.  Adding insult to injury for me I had heard that David was spending alot of time in Atlanta. We would loose touch and I would hear of him sleeping on peoples couches recording anywhere and everywhere like a rapping Gypsy. Years would pass and something special would happen.  You see…DAVID BANNER KNEW THE SECRET ALL ALONG; IN LIFE, YOU MUST ALWAYS MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE YOUR OWN PRIORITY.  When we all forgot about him, when I felt pity and shame, David Banner was somewhere FEELING HIS OWN STRENGTH, STAYING FOCUSED ON HIS OWN PRIORITY, WHICH WAS TO KEEP HIS FAMILY FED. 

The picture taken above was only months ago, I sat with David on his tour bus as he was about to leave for Germany, that’s right Germany.  He looked like money!  For those of us who knew him back in the day…David was always dusty. (smile)  But not now, the Mississippi clay was now absorbed into his glistening regal skin.  He had the aura of a man whose family would be eating good for generations to come!

The first music video, I ever got paid for was TLC’s “What About Your Friends”.  One of the locations for that video was what is NOW the Cabbage Town Mill Lofts in Atlanta.  At the end of the night I got paid a whopping ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS and I couldn’t believe I made that much for one day’s worth of work (smile). Well, What About Your Friends was, and still is, one of my favorite songs.  It has lyrics I think we all need to revisit from time to time: (feel free to sing along)

 Every now and then I get a little easy
I let a lot of people depend on me
I never though they would ever deceive me
Don’t you know when times got rough I was standing on my own
I’ll never let another get that clost to me
You see I’ve grown a lot smarter now
Sometimes you have to choose and then you’ll see
If your friends is true they’ll be there with you
Through the thick and thin

(repeat chorus)

Just as with our angel “Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez, no one knew that the trip she was on, the car ride she took WOULD BE HER LAST.  The SECRET here is WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS…WILL THEY LET YOU DOWN, ARE THEY GONNA BE AROUND, OR WILL THEY TURN THEIR BACKS ON YOU!  AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?

The picture above was taken with Chilli, her son and I, on the set of DJ Unk’s new video for “Show Out”.  Chilli is ageless, it’s almost shocking and her son is one of the next stars of the next generation.

I couldn’t resist here is TLC BELOW… PERFORMING “WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS” you gotta watch!!!

I remember where I was when I heard “Cell Therapy”, it changed me.  It made me feel so proud to be an Atlien, so proud of this mainstream record company LaFace for actually having artists like the Goodie Mob and Outcast mixed with my favorite group TLC.  I was devested when the group broke up, but one day I decieded to stop being selfish for one minute and was able to realize the SECRET TO THIS ENTRY, ITS VERY SIMPLE – FOR EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON.

Now I’m gonna take you back to a night I can recall at Club 112 some years back; it was an album release party for Ludacris, and all of Atlanta’s royalty came out to support. The VIP was an Atlien who’s who list. I was sitting down near Michael Vick and my friends were asking me if was I going to follow them back to his house. I declined and really I was barely listening to them because I was witnessing a dramatic moment that no one was even paying attention to. See, at that time Bigg Gipp had released “Stepping Out” and the Goodie Mob had just come out with an album titled “One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show” which of course was a diss to Ceelo; and here in the back of the VIP Bigg Gipp and Ceelo saw each other for what you could clearly tell was the first time in a very long time. I watched them at a comfortable distance from the first hug, to the awkward first dialog to the heart to heart that must have lasted 30min. These niggas were not fighting, there were no girls involved but the drama of that moment and the intensity I felt from them was soooo powerful. These were two black men having an “amicable coming to Jesus” right before my eyes. It was obvious their paths were supposed to cross that night. You see, it was TIME for that conversation to take place. Life DOES have it’s seasons.

I was there on the set of Ceelo’s teletubbie video in 2002 for the song “Getting Grown” as well as his collaboration with Timbaland in 2004 on “I’ll Be Around” and even his moment with Jazze Pha in 2006 for the “Happy Hour”. But who really knew that he was going to keep having his moments in TIME until he collaborated on one of the biggest songs OF ALL TIME, “Crazy”. Now, If he had stayed with the Goodie Mob, we might not have ever had that song.

So, I say as fans and as people, let us love our artists, family and friends no matter what TIME it is in their lives, because it is all a part of life’s necessary changing seasons. Right now, I’m celebrating the return of the Goodie Mob and I will enjoy this season in their lives for as long as it lasts.

I will never forget the day I met her, she was radiant, beautiful, full of life and promise for the future yet I steered away from her as if I had a premonition that imminent danger was near.  And when I heard of her death I was affected in the most indescribable way.  At 17 she mesmerized grown men and women and often paraded through the streets of Atlanta as the “Belle of the Masquerade Ball”.  She gained status and clout and represented an adult like business savvy that made people not ask about the details of her life.  After all, the details were now only what she made them up to be.  When I met her she handed me a business card as head of the Legion of Dimes Promotions Team and looked at me strange when I told her I did not have a card on me to exchange with her.  I looked at the card and her picture was there along with her name “China”.  Now even though she looked like a china doll, I would later find out that her real name was Briana Michelle Bowen.  None of her associates knew that.  The grown men and women who parlayed and politicked with her everyday did not care what her real name or age was.  I would later find out that even in her death her own grave would remain unmarked.  The picture above was taken the day I met her at the Bubba Sparks  ”Miss New Booty” video shoot.  And months later her life would come to a tragic end after another video shoot for Young Joc’s “It’s Going Down”. 

The details of her death have never been entirely clear but apparently on the fatal evening, she left the video shoot with a man known as Bishop the King of Crunk.  Somehow, even though several years underage, she would be allowed into one of Atlanta’s local strip clubs to continue her night of partying.  Apparently, there was some drama at the club which led to the two of them leaving in a car chase which then set the stage for the crash of the SUV driven by Bishop.  Later someone would drop her anonymously off to the hospital where workers did not even know her name, she would die shortly thereafter.

The secret to this entry is quite critical.  In a city like Atlanta, people get dressed up everyday to go to the Masquerade Ball.  The young pretend they’re old, gay pretend they’re straight, poor act rich and even rich act poor.  The cities guest list is filled with transplants and even natives reinventing their past, lying about their present and thus creating a shaky future.  Look at your life,  look in the mirror and ask yourself what is under your mask? Have you too created a false reality for yourself?  And look at the people you associate with…are they who they claim to be?  Do they share your values and goals? When we are able to look beneath the mask we FIND TRUTH, perhaps the truth could have saved Briana aka China and spared her young life.  These are the times to be honest with yourself, find out who and what you really are.  When I took off my mask my world changed for the better right away.  I started to write again, created this blog and began to find new meaning from my past. What will you find when you take off your mask?

I never watched a single episode of Being Bobby Brown.  Because you see, I have been like the mother who lights candles for their lost son or daughter kneeling in a Catholic church, I have just been sitting back praying (literally) praying for Whitney’s safe return home.  I first met her during my first summer industry job at a rehearsal studio called In Touch Productions.  Bobby Brown was getting ready for his Humpin Around tour and everyday he would come and rehearse along with TLC and many others. People speculated about how intense his issues were but I actually had inside information on him. You see, my partner at the time was a drug counselor at a treatment facility and let’s just say, that it did leak out once or twice that he was being treated for “crack cocaine addiction”.  He would come to rehearsals back then and not even be able to remember the words to My Purgative.  So one day it was decided by someone high up in the ranks that Whitney needed to come to town and straighten his partying behind out so that he would be able to go on tour.  (In those days she still lived in Jersey). 

I couldn’t sleep the night before she arrived.  Anyone who knew me knew that Whitney Houston was and is MY FAVORITE SINGER OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I couldn’t believe I was going to get a chance to meet her.  It was Christmas eve, well not really, but it felt like it and I didn’t sleep one wink, I got to work early and waited.  First, she had landed… whew!  Then her town car was in route, and the next thing I knew, walking through the door almost 8 months pregnant was Ms. Houston.  She greeted Bobby’s sister Lele with a hug and Lele asked her how she was doing, YOU KNOW…making reference to the baby, and the first words I ever heard MY IDOL say in person were “GIRL I’M READY TO DROP THIS SHIT”.  I gasped and I guess in a way I have been “waiting to exhale” ever sense. 

It would be almost 10 years before I would see her again.  The video shoot was WHATCHULOOKINGAT. I believe my title on that job was Asst. Production Coor.  It could have been garbage lady for all I cared.  I personally was responsible for her “green room”.  I ordered the furniture from “Rent A Center” yes Whitney had “Rent A Center” furniture (smile). I was an emotional wreck that day, seeing her in the condition she was in made me go to my car and cry 2 times throughout the shoot.  She was skin and bones.  The stories I had heard were all true and I was not looking at her with contempt but at the people around her…these were the people I just couldn’t believe! 

At one point Whitney was outside and saw Bobby pull up again in his SUV.  It was pouring down rain and I was holding the umbrella over Ms. Houston (I told ya’ll I would have been garbage lady)(smile).  Before I could blink, she did the unthinkable and ran out from under the umbrella towards Bobby.  Well of course I darted after her trying to minimize the damage to her hair, and once she got to his vehicle something interesting happened.  You see, we were recording live sound at that moment and Whitney had a mic on her body when she ran off.  Bobby rolls down the window and I am there holding the umbrella and Whitney asks “What you got for me?” several times.  From a distance one of her STYLISTS blurts out “NeNe remember you still got that mic on you!” 

There it was…AS PLAIN AS COULD BE… the reason why people can’t get the help they need sometimes is becuase other people need to eat!  I believe that people protected her all those years so that they would still have jobs.  If I recall correctly, the hair, makeup and wardrobe fees for that ONE music video were almost $80,000.  WOW!  THE SECRET HERE IS: NEVER INSULATE YOURSELF FROM YOURSELF, BECAUSE SOMETIMES WE CAN BUILD A FORTRESS WITH OUR BIGGEST ENEMIES ON THE INSIDE.

But that was only the first part of  THE SECRET… THE SECOND GLORIOUS PART IS… THAT AT ANY GIVEN TIME ON ANY GIVEN DAY, NO MATTER HOW EXTREME OUR NEGATIVE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE… WE CAN ALL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER…WHITNEY I’M FINALLY BEGINNING TO EXHALE!!!

I hadn’t heard my mother carry on like she did a couple of weeks ago in a long time.  But rightfully so, the loss of two legends in one weekend was overwhelming.  Iasac Hayes and Bernie Mac left their extrordinary mark on this world.  Remembering their lives made me think of another great man we lost that I worked  with before he left this earth. 

 That’s right, I actually got a chance to work with James Brown on a music video in 2005. 

Now he had always been my mom’s favorite and I knew I was going to bring her to tears with this photo of me along side Mr Brown with an autograph just for her.  I remember going shopping for a special frame suitable for my masterpiece you see, and I found one.  However, it was when I began to put the picture in the frame that a panic attack actually came over me! 

I starred at the photo long and hard and began to think to myself  “WHO IS THAT WOMEN STANDING NEXT TO JAMES BROWN? SHE IS SOO FAT!!” I was talking of course about myself!  Now the thought of my mother taking my gift and placing it on the family entertainment center was embarrasing.  That was almost 3 years ago and I am still embarrassed.  Not because of the picture, not because of my weight   No, I’m embarrassed that it was not until he died  that I was able to find the real value in this image. 

I was blessed to have been able to work with a man who lived up to all of the stories I had ever heard.  His stamina and graciousness are what stick out most in my mind.  I am proud to have been able to stand along side of him.

SO HERE LIES THE SECRET: Don’t let hangups or prejudices keep you from finding the real beauty in life.  “Thankyou, Mr Brown, you are one of the legends, like those we recently lost that will continue to make an impact on us all!” 

Sometimes people get a hold of some new philosophies or a new way of looking at the world and start to forget some of the principals that we all grew up with that DO still make sense.  Many people who flock every Sunday to Creflo Dollar and Eddie Long’s church in greater-metro Atlanta can often quote what their pastors say, but what about the good advise “grandma” or “nana” or “mama” had and still has for us.

Now I can recall several occasions when my “mama” has said the phrase “baby…you got to…pick and choose your battles”.  Wow, these are words to live by!  And she served these types of quotes up for me without a collection plate attached, more often than not she had a plate of home cooked joy she offered along with this brilliant advise.  And one day, not too long ago I was able to use her advise to the fullest.

It was 9:00AM on Monday morning of the last week of school before summer vacation and I sat in the principals office.  No this was not years ago, just a few months ago, I sat in Principal Middleton’s office at Banneker High School in College Park, GA.  The band director, Mr. Mills, thought that he had clearance to allow his students to participate in the new Young Joc video “Coffee Shop” scheduled for later that VERY same day; however, when principal Middleton got wind of this after school caper, he firmly vetoed the entire plan. So it became, Lisa Cunningham to the rescue!  I sat in his office and listened to words like “school board” “PR person” “superintendent” and “content” cringing at the thought of everything falling apart and then I remembered my mama’s words and I appealed to the principal.  I looked him straight in the eye and said, “Principal Middleton, this may be one of those times when you have to “pick and choose your battles”  I told him it was better for him to end the year on a glorious high note, so that when the new term started and he had to be firm about policy, the kids would still be able to recall a point and time when they felt as if the school had supported them and connected with them on a more human level.  Well you see me smiling in the picture above and you can see the students below, it all worked out.  

No, the content of Joc’s song and album is not PG13.  But at what point do we pick and choose our battles so that we can start to make a real difference and bridge the gap in our children’s and teens lives.  MY MOM KNEW THE SECRET ALL ALONG!