The revolution will be televised! January 10, 2012

I have a new lifestyle program that I am starting and it is simply based on the premise that in order to “grow you have to find your inner glow”. My friends seem to have caught on because they are spreading the word and have convinced me to have weekly video blogs to support it. The following clip is not technically apart of these blogs but I found that when I was talking to the “video vixens” at the Power Summit, a few years back, I was already starting to plant the seed for my new way of life.

Winning!!! December 17, 2011

Its true! I’m WINNING!!!! But how did I get here? I’m not in my 20′s, I didn’t win the lotto, and my career has had extreme highs/lows. But today I’m winning because the path I took was not the fast track Generation Next focuses on, it was a path that has trained me as if I was an Olympian, I’m READY, because ultimately THE SECRET HERE IS AN OLD ONE, it’s still not whether you win or loose, it is HOW YOU PLAYED THE GAME!

Your life is not my priority! November 22, 2011

I will never forget the feeling I had on a conference call one day in 2000 when I worked for Tommy Boy Records and my boss the Sr. Vice President of Promotions said that we were changing our focus. He said that the group known as the Crooked Lettaz were no longer a PRIORITY for us. I was in shock! Never being afraid to rock the boat, I did the unthinkable and objected to my bosses new order. I told him we should give the group more time…I told him how amazing the lead guy was. His name was David Banner. This guy would get on stage and during the course of one of their songs called Firewater, he would actually blow real FIRE as if he was performing in a circus! It was a sight to see! My boss silenced me almost as soon as I had begun and ended the phone call with an even more heated tone! THE CROOKED LETTAZ…ARE NO LONGER A PRIORITY FOR US!

I’m not sure how David Banner got the news delivered to him or maybe he just simply saw the signs. He called me repeatedly on my cell; I would not answer. He caught me one day on my home office line and addressed me sounding as desperate as John Q, saying “You are taking food away from my families mouths!” I was silent, I could say nothing and he hung up that day not knowing that I was not the reason.

The label and it’s hope for the future left with acts like David. Adding insult to injury for me I had heard that David was spending alot of time in Atlanta. We would loose touch and I would hear of him sleeping on peoples couches recording anywhere and everywhere like a rapping Gypsy. Years would pass and something special would happen. You see…DAVID BANNER KNEW THE SECRET ALL ALONG; IN LIFE, YOU MUST ALWAYS MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE YOUR OWN PRIORITY. When we all forgot about him, when I felt pity and shame, David Banner was somewhere FEELING HIS OWN STRENGTH, STAYING FOCUSED ON HIS OWN PRIORITY, WHICH WAS TO KEEP HIS FAMILY FED.

The picture taken above was on a video set for the Shop Boyz featuring David, I sat with on his tour bus as he was about to leave for Germany, that’s right Germany. He looked like money! For those of us who knew him back in the day…David was always dusty. (smile) But not now, the Mississippi clay was now absorbed into his glistening regal skin. He had the aura of a man whose family would be eating good for generations to come!

Tameka Foster made me cry! Repost October 22, 2011

This post is not meant in anyway to defame Tameka!!! However…that’s right…Tameka Foster, Glover, Raymond once made me cry on the set of a video for a short lived group called the ATL. We were already 3 hours behind and she was not allowing the group to get dressed because…hummm…her creative vision AS A WARDROBE STYLIST was being compromised! I believe that was the line she gave me! I was the second assistant director and my SOLE job for the day was to the get the Artists’ and the models to set, and of course they couldn’t get there… if they didn’t have their clothes on! I begged and pleaded with Tameka which seemed to only fuel her fire. She insisted I go get the Director’s, the Fat Cats… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOOT she wanted to go over the creative vision for the group and video once again!!!

That was in 2003 and boy I didn’t know the SECRET then. The SECRET in this entry is a bit complicated but let’s try to walk through it. You see there is a thing in life called the path of LEAST RESISTANCE, the more I pushed, the more she resisted. Have you ever used a screwdriver and actually the pressure ended up “stripping the hole”? However, if you had just used a more calculated slower force, the result would have been better. Well, people like Tameka are much the same. Now some negative folks may say she is a CONTROL FREAK; I would prefer to say that she is a person who “needs to feel in control”. You see people who need to feel in control are usually out of control in other areas and are “overcompensating” for their feelings somewhere else. THE REAL SECRET HERE IS: let’s stop bitching about peoples habits and start learning how to deal with them so that we don’t CREATE NEGATIVE COPING MECHANISMS of our own!

What About Your Friends October 9, 2011

The first music video, I ever got paid for was TLC’s “What About Your Friends”.  One of the locations for that video was what is NOW the Cabbage Town Mill Lofts in Atlanta.  At the end of the night I got paid a whopping ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS and I couldn’t believe I made that much for one day’s worth of work (smile). Well, What About Your Friends was, and still is, one of my favorite songs.  It has lyrics I think we all need to revisit from time to time: (feel free to sing along)

Every now and then I get a little crazy
That’s not the way it’s supposed to be
Sometimes my vision is a little hazy
I can’t tell who I should trust or just who I let trust me (yeah) 

What about your friends
Will they stand their ground
Will they let you down again
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you

Well is it me or can it be I’m a little too
Friendly so to speak hypothetically
Say I supply creativity to what others
Must take as a form of self-hate
Only to make an enemy
Which results in unfortunate destiny
They dog me out then be next to me
Just cause I am what some choose to envy

Every now and then I get a little easy
I let a lot of people depend on me
I never though they would ever deceive me
Don’t you know when times got rough I was standing on my own
I’ll never let another get that clost to me
You see I’ve grown a lot smarter now
Sometimes you have to choose and then you’ll see
If your friends is true they’ll be there with you
Through the thick and thin

(repeat chorus)

I called a FRIEND tonight only 45min after she had a car wreck, she was STILL in the car on the side of the road stranded and waiting on… a FRIEND who said she would come to her rescue only after she finished picking up some wings she had ordered.  Now my FRIEND was about to be late for work and her anxiety stricken voice was more shaken by her lack of quality FRIENDS in her life than by the accident itself.

The SECRET here is WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS…WILL THEY LET YOU DOWN, ARE THEY GONNA BE AROUND, OR WILL THEY TURN THEIR BACKS ON YOU!  AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?

The picture above was taken with Chilli, her son and I, on the set of DJ Unk’s new video for “Show Out”.  Chilli is ageless, it’s almost shocking and her son is one of the next stars of the next generation.

I couldn’t resist here is TLC BELOW… PERFORMING “WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS” you gotta watch!!!

She’s sooo fat! September 12, 2011

That’s right, I actually got a chance to work with James Brown on a music video in 2005, and here is a post about why I never showed this picture with him before now…

James Brown had always been one of my mom’s favorites and I knew I was going to bring her to tears with this photo of me along side Mr Brown with an autograph just for her. I remember going shopping for a special frame suitable for my masterpiece you see, and I found one. However, it was when I began to put the picture in the frame that a panic attack actually came over me!

I starred at the photo long and hard and began to think to myself “WHO IS THAT WOMEN STANDING NEXT TO JAMES BROWN? SHE IS SOO FAT!!” I was talking of course about myself! Now the thought of my mother taking my gift and placing it on the family entertainment center was too embarrasing. That was almost 5 years ago and I am still embarrassed. Not because of the picture, and not because of my weight No, I’m embarrassed that it was not until he died that I was able to find the real value in this image.

I was blessed to have been able to work with a man who lived up to all of the stories I had ever heard. His stamina and graciousness are what stick out most in my mind. I am proud to have been able to stand along side of him.

SO HERE LIES THE SECRET: Don’t let hangups or prejudices keep you from finding the real beauty in life. “Thankyou, Mr Brown, you are one of the legends that will continue to make an impact on us all!”

Shake it fast, watch yourself… April 11, 2011

We all know that Mystikal is a Cree man these days and I hadn’t thought about him in a very long time until I ran across this picture the other day. We were on the set of the “Move” with Ludacris music video and I can recall being captivated by his presence. Here was a man who smoked more “weed” than any rapper I had ever seen and chased it with Hennessy, sipping the liquor as if it was gatorade. And yet when you would go get him for his scene, he would be remarkably alert, taking direction well and staying focused on the task at hand. He was quite a paradox! I remember one instance I came to get him for a shot and walked onto his tour bus and saw a young lady giving him comfort and joy on her knees before him. I was stunned, to say the least, but he simply said to me “Here I come”. The irony tickles me to this day.

The next time I would work with him was on the set of Lil Jon’s video “I Don’t Give a F@#K”. He was consistant with his disposition and as usual great to work with, but you could always see the angel and the devil at work within this talented man. I have seen the same saga play out so many times within my industry and quite frankly even within myself. I remember living my own life as if I had no consequences, justifying my actions, surrounded by people who were ticking timebombs and not knowing the SECRET at all. When I heard of Mystical going to jail for a sex crime that was committed on tape, I was horrified! I was more upset when I read the blogs with comments from indivduals who focused on the “hairstylist who was a thief” as justification for his actions. It is not what the hairstylist did to him that is the SECRET to this entry but yet how he came to serve a 6 year jail sentence.

My mother always said to me growing up “TELL ME WHO YOUR FIRENDS ARE…AND I WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.” Mystikal performed these acts of abuse with his “homeboys”. It was a COLLECTIVE effort. We must all examine our relationships around us. A person should chooses their friends, lovers, and associates consciously. We should actively seek out the company of people who inspire and challenge, and willingly shed those who hold us back. Check out the formula I learned in the video clip below. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! Perhaps if Mystikal had known these PRINCIPLES OF THE SECRET, he might have made different choices. I am praying that now he is released he will have grown to be a a better man who will fulfill a greater destiny than a great rapper I simply forgot about.

Protect yourself from yourself April 1, 2011

In 2007 Souljaboy became the youngest person ever to write, perform and produce a NUMBER 1 song on the Hot 100 Billboard Chart. This is the Soulja Boy you see pictured above with me in Jan 2008. He was a pleasure to work with and had the disposition of young man who was enjoying life and success but still staying a bit grounded. However, in less than 3 years something happened to this young artist. The picture below is how Soulja Boy looks now. Tattoos cover almost all of his upper body and he has even begun putting them on his face. A run in with notorious groupie Kat Stacks had the world speculating if he was on drugs or not and to compound matters he released an album in November which sold only 19,000 copies its first week. While the blogs all crack jokes, the unraveling of Soulja Boy for me is no laughing matter! Cont…below….

The SECRET TO THIS ENTRY IS NO GREAT MYSTERY. In life we need a system of checks and balances. When setting up your empire you MUST be sure that you keep people around you that can help you to grow in a positive direction. Form allegiances and associations that will enhance your character. From the looks of it, Soulja Boy should be choosing his associates more wisely. JUST IMAGINE IF USHER HAD DISCOVERED HIM AND JUSTIN BEIBER I DOUBT WE WOULD EVER SEE A VIDEO LIKE THIS ONE BELOW. UNBELIEVEABLE!!!

I miss my Daddy April 1, 2011

No, Robert Townsend is not my Daddy but he was my Dad’s favorite comedian. My Dad passed away 2 years ago and his death really made me wake up and begin to understand THE SECRET for the very first time. I was raised Catholic by parents that were more spiritual than religious. However, my mom does love her saints and one of the saints she would always tell us to pray to was Saint Jude. So, I kept the prayer to St Jude in my wallet in my back pocket (not a purse, ya’ll already know, smile). Anyway, the prayer on the little card is the “prayer for hopeless cases”. When my Dad passed, I took the prayer out of my back pocket and began to read it over and over again because I was a mental wreck and… a HOPELESS CASE so I thought. Wow, I DIDN’T”T KNOW THE SECRET. First of all, THAT prayer did not help me at all!!!! You cannot carry your faith in your back pocket, just like you can’t only carry it to church on Sunday. You have to LIVE your prayer. Imagine if every-time, you said the words “hot mess” or were tempted to talk negatively about someone, you simply replaced it with a more positive thought or action. Every-time, I got sad about my dad, I replaced it with a positive thought, a funny story, a memorable moment. In a short time I became entrenched in the GOODNESS of the life he had lived, I was able to celebrate it and share it with others.

NOW FOR THE SECOND PART OF THIS ENTRY’S SECRET. I began to focus on other things I wanted to happen, I saw how easily I was able to ease the pain of my dad’s death once I changed my thoughts. It was startling! Try this out, take one hour out of your day and write down all of the thoughts that pop into your head, you will be amazed. Most of us don’t realize how NEGATIVE we really are. Change comes from within and it doesn’t cost anything for us to make it happen! I know my dads light and positive energy are within me. Find out what energy is within you to reveal YOUR TRUE SECRET TO HAPPINESS!

What’s Your #? March 1, 2011

Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta, my homie Kandi asked “what is your Freak Number” meaning how freaky are you? Well, if you know me, Im not gonna touch that but it did get me to thinking. What if we asked ourselves what our “Positivity Number” is, which means ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10 HOW POSITIVE DO WE THINK WE ARE? That may not be as fun as figuring out your freak number however, it can be very rewarding. YOU SEE THE SECRET HERE IS, When you take the time to look at yourself and your thoughts you might be shocked at just how negative you really are, I WAS!! When I was honest with myself I realized my number was about a 4 or 5 on any given day. Just think… every time you call someone a hot mess, or yell at someone in traffic, or any of the negative things we do and say throughout the day it takes away from the POSITIVE energy that should flow through our lives. One of the true SECRETS is that OUR BRAIN BECOMES LIKE A CLOGGED ARTERY. I started working on my thoughts about a year ago and it took a minute but the results have brought me towards a happier life, because I made room for the GOOD and let go of the NEGATIVE clutter. What’s my score now…about an 8

Beyond the Game February 18, 2011

I got a chance to hang out on set with Chanita Foster the other night who is one of the now infamous Football Wives on VH1′s hit reality show.  She was taping live with my homie Kandi (Real Housewives of Atlanta) for her show Kandi Koated Nights.  After all of the juicy sex talk, Chanita spoke a little about her real passion which is her charitable work in Africa.  Her spirit jumped out at me!!  I later went to her website to get more of her story and that is where her message really hit home for me.  You see…she had one of  those “Aha” moments Oprah talks about.  She began to look at some of the excess around her and felt empty.  It’s not that her and her husband were spending crazy dollars frivolously, by all accounts they don’t have it quite like that, but it seems to me that Chanita was disappointed in the world that was immediately around her. A world that she and her husband were still very much a part of.  I can totally relate to her amazing testimony.  She did some soul searching and ended up finding her calling across the world.

In the sports and entertainment industries it is a must that we find a place of GIVING in our hearts.  I know I have recently found mine.  Yesterday, I spoke once again to a class of young people at Therrell High School in Atlanta.  My topic was how do we measure success?  Well the SECRET HERE is that I measure MY SUCCESS as I imagine Chanita does… in what we DO with our success to change the lives of others!!

Please visit Chanita’s website http://www.beyondtgame.com/ to see her amazing work.

525,600 minutes…how do you measure a year! December 31, 2010

Thats right its that time of year where we look back over the past 525,600 minutes and reflect on the good and bad of it. But as the famous song titled Seasons of Love from the play/movie Rent says…how do you measure a year in the life! The lyrics go on to say…

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, In cups of coffee, In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife, 
In five hundred twenty-five thousand, Six hundred minutes, How do you measure a year in the life?
 How about love? Measure your life in love.

These simple yet powerful lyrics may be extra corny to some but for me they hit at the essence of what life is really about. Because I COULD measure this year in the Range Rover I did not get (yet lol) or the zeros in my bank account, or I CAN REALIZE THE SECRET HERE IS TO LOOK FOR REAL MEANING and measure it in the time when I went to see For Colored Girls with my Mom and my sisters or when my niece said my name for the first time, or when I mended that old relationship. I could go on and on, and as this year ends, I hope that you also choose to measure your life in LOVE!!!

*I couldn’t resist… below is the song Seasons of Love from the Movie Rent

Shut Up and Listen! December 13, 2010

I love motivational speaking!!! So when an old class mate of mine contacted me to speak at West Lake High School to the entire Senior Class (the girls only) I was excited and on a mission to razzle and dazzle them with life lessons from my work in the entertainment business.  Ohh yes, I kept their attention with names like Jezzy, TI and Usher. My speech was SOOOOO on point, I was patting my OWN self on the back lol.  AND THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED, I was talking about having respect for yourself and one of the girls blurts out “Half of dem aint got no self-respect cause they let they boyfriends hit on them”

Now hold on wait a minute!!!! This was not apart of MY program. Then, her friend next to her said “Shut Up girl!!!” and  the FIRST young lady fired back “Only reason you want me to shut up is cause you one who gets beat up!!!”  The entire class begins to “OOOOHHHH and speaking all at once. I had momentarily lost control. I recovered and hushed the crowd and asked them to raise their hand if they had EVER been HIT or had a friend who had been HIT by a boyfriend or someone they were dating.

Out of maybe 300 girls about 250 raised there hands. I WAS DEVESTATED. At this point you see, it was no longer about my GRAND speech, it was truly about these girls and their REAL ISSUES!  We talked about violence a bit before the bell would ring and wisk everyone away. I saw their faces as they were leaving and shaking my hand saying goodbye, they were still yearning for more.  Looking for answers I couldn’t DELIVER in an hour speech.  There is no doubt in my mind that I was able to touch a few of their lives that day. BUT THE SECRET HERE IS SIMPLE… we might have our own kids, sisters, cousins, or teens we come into contact with that need NOT TO BE TALKED AT, BUT LISTENED TO. It is OUR responsibility to take opportunities when we can to do just that and maybe we can begin to truly make a difference in young peoples lives. I will end like this…

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Ralph Nichols

Things to do before I Die (who came up with that crap!) November 18, 2010

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW RIDICULOUS IS IT THAT PEOPLE HAVE A LIST OF THINGS TO DO BEFORE THEY DIE. That means you are literally LIVING TO DIE instead of DYING TO LIVE. Throw away the lists and wake up each day loving life. If you love life and yourself you will FIND a way to be happy! It’s not instant, but there is a process that can take you there.

 

It’s not a diet, it’s not a training program…it’s not a new religion It’s simply a smart way of approaching life. Imagine if you went to the kitchen and wanted to make the best cake ever, but had no eggs, no milk, no sugar, flour or any of the necessary ingredients at all. How would your cake turn out? Then why are we all doing that with the steps to happiness in our lives everyday.

For many of us, our lives are in jeopardy, all because we keep going through each day without finding our inner spark to ignite real change.

The SECRET IS OUT and it’s time we became our own therapists because the answer to your happier healthier sexier life is already inside of YOU!

In order to Grow, it’s time we found our inner Glow! We have a LIGHT THAT SHINES FROM WITHIN and most of us keep letting life blow it out each day. WE MIGHT AS WELL STOP GOING TO CHURCH, STOP GOING TO THE GYM, STOP GETTING YOUR HAIR DONE. Why???????? Because when we do go we are usually not positioning ourselves to receive the full benefit of the experience. Check out this scenerio… How many mothers are yelling at their kids telling them to hurry up and get ready for church; Next, they go get in the car and see that the tank is close to empty and then drive worrying about the gas for the car; After they get to church, they are walking in the door thinking about what to cook for dinner. That combination is a total of 3 stress points on their daily FLOW CHART that have reduced their inner GLOW and made it harder for them to receive the full benefit of the Pastors message, the choirs song etc.

Most of us are just lip syncing through life with words and actions that have no real connection to our souls. It’s time to talk of real CHANGE!!!!!! Are you ready! Your life can change, mine did, and in the upcoming weeks I will share just how I did it!

Stop pressing the snooze button on life!!! November 6, 2010

Most of us have done it before, and some of us do it daily, the snooze button has become a part of our life and culture. Or in my case, i was even worse.  I am a former “serial alarm setter”. That’s right I confess, at my worst I would set as many as 5 consecutive alarms in order to wake up.  That all changed for me one day when I could no longer postpone the inevitable.

The artist was Usher’s new group, One Chance, the Director was the elite Norwegian, Ray Kay, and I was to be his assist. dir. on a music video that was a two day shoot of magnanimous proportions.  I lived very far out at the time and in an attempt to make sure I would have no mishaps with traffic or natural disaster I decided to stay at a friends house only blocks from the location the night before.

How smart I was making such a calculated choice.  I was no slacker, I was preparing for my work day properly…so I thought.  The night before, I set my usual alarms and went to sleep.  The next morning I awakened in HORROR…the alarms had gone off…I had pressed dismiss each time…and after the last alarm…I went back to sleep only to finally be awakend by my phone actually ringing with my Producer on the other end wondering why “the coach of the football team” was not there at the start of the game.  I came onto set and had the type of day like the Falcons kept having without Vick, everything went wrong and I took my beating like a girl and yes… I cried my eyes out.

But here lies THE SECRET: WHEN YOU PRESS SNOOZE OR DISMISS ON YOUR LIFE YOU ARE JUST BUILDING A FOUNDATION ON FEAR AND IT WILL CRUMBLE.

I set myself up for failure with the fear of being late, the fear of oversleeping, I was anticipating the worst and trying to prevent it.  But the  REAL SECRET TO THIS ONE IS EVEN DEEPER. YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH MANY LAYERS SOMETIMES TO FIND YOUR BREAKTHROUGH. I really was simply afraid of the high pressure day to come!!!  I had booked myself as casting director and assistant director. That is why my mind, body, and soul stayed sleep that day.  IT WAS ALL FEAR.

When you delay waking up each morning, you are saying, I DON’T WANT TO WAKE UP, I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH LIFE.  Those few extra minutes of sleep are not good ones! Remember you have already awakened and have disconnected from your rest, and it takes a litte while to get back there.  So you are really doing more harm than good.  Get up and get in the game of life each day, with a “gameplan” that leads to victory not defeat!

*I couldn’t resist…below is a copy of the video I referenced One Chance, “Look At Her”.